Tuesday, April 1, 2014

ASK AWAKENED JOURNEY: HOW TO HANDLE ANGER WHEN OTHERS ATTACK MY VIEWPOINTS


Today's topic: Dealing with Anger 

Dear Awakened Journey: How do you not let anger overcome you when dealing with ppl who have an opposite opinion & try to ridicule you for your opinion? - signed, spirit of capricorn

Reply:
Dear spirit, as you know, working with our anger is a lifelong learning and practice. We have to express our anger in order to release it, and the key (mastery) is to find healthy ways to do it.
Some people are not ready to embrace the fact that we have differing opinions and think that only theirs is "right". These people are great teachers, and great challenges, to us. Sometimes all we can do is to practice speaking our truth or opinion anyways and standing up firmly for that and ourselves. You can tell them with firm feet on the ground "I disagree. I feel that ... " and express your truth with integrity. You might also say, "I feel ... (hurt, angry, how you feel) when you attack me for my opinion, so I'm not going to discuss this further with you" and set a boundary. Setting boundaries out loud, and speaking our truth to the people, develops our inner strength and sense of self; and standing up for ourselves is also good for our health and self-care. When we do it we take our power back energetically. and then we can walk away. and honor the boundary that we set. Not always easy if/when the people are people who are in our everyday lives.
But express your feeling to them honestly and be prepared to walk away from arguing further about it. When we express out-loud that a person's attacks hurt and upset us, we are being response-able for our inner child and the place of our wound, aka, where it hurts. Then we can walk away and find people who accept us for who we are, and who are ready to have more healthy and conscious relationships with us, differing opinions and all.
It really is a trial and error process. But set boundaries as to what you will or will not take/take on. And if you need to get the anger out... find a sacred person or place to then express the rest of the full emotion. After speaking with the "petty tyrant" (teachers who push our buttons), you may have to go to your room and throw some pillows! and/or scream the words "Ughhh!!"or get the sounds out in order to move the rest of the energy through. It's also helpful to write or speak the words "I feel ANGRY that... (fill in the blanks)" and keep doing that until all or most of the anger (energy/emotion) is released (expressed).
So find a friend or person to share with afterwards who is safe to listen, or you can do it yourself through writing or shouting the words beginning with "I feel angry that...." It's kind of a combo of expressing our anger in healthy places and ways, and also setting boundaries with others who are not safe or conscious.
Namaste

~ ~ ~
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