Tuesday, December 20, 2011

In Gratis 2011


Today I give thanks for a feeling of expanding joy. For the gifts of new friendships and circles, the simple and abundant comforts in life, blessings in so many things, The gifts of the Goddess, and the experience of being supported and guided in so many ways on an ever evolving journey into the new paradigm of freedom & Self Love. To Eagle, Mountain Lion and Wolf, my sacred power guides, I say thank you for walking and flying and speaking with me. Today may all sentient beings find love in their hearts, joy in their beingness, faith in their journeys, and peace in their awakened souls. May all sentient beings be loved, free, protected, cherished and filled with the Grace of a new millenium cycle of truth and light for all.


~ in gratitude ~




Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Art of Receiving

Relying on Others - The Wisdom of Surrender

A deep feeling of gratitude can emerge as we open to the experience of being helped.

Most of us pride ourselves on our self-sufficiency. We like to be responsible for taking care of ourselves and pulling our own weight in the world. This is why it can be so challenging when we find ourselves in a situation in which we have to rely on someone else. This can happen as the result of an illness or an injury, or even in the case of a positive change, such as the arrival of a newborn. At times like these, it is essential that we let go of our feeling that we should be able to do it all by ourselves and accept the help of others.

The first step is accepting the situation fully as it is. Too often we make things worse either by trying to do more than we should or by lapsing into feelings of uselessness. In both cases we run the risk of actually prolonging our dependency. In addition, we miss a valuable opportunity to practice acceptance and humility. The ego resists what is, so when we move into acceptance we move into the deeper realm of the soul. In needing others and allowing them to help us, we experience the full realization that we are not on our own in the world. While this may bring up feelings of vulnerability, a deep feeling of gratitude may also emerge as we open to the experience of being helped. This realization can enable us to be wiser in our service of others when we are called upon to help.

It takes wisdom and strength to surrender to our own helplessness and to accept that we, just like every other human being, have limitations. The gifts of surrender are numerous. We discover humility, gratitude, and a deepening understanding of the human experience that enables us to be that much more compassionate and surrendered in the world.

DailyOm

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Visions of Holly Trees


Amazing. I was working with holly medicine this morning (as per my previous blog) and in the afternoon went to the maryland shore with my family. After spending some beautiful time on the sunny beach we went for a short hike in the neighboring forest area of the park - where we walked directly into a magical forest full of, what do you think?? ... holly trees! I am not kidding. I had never seen holly trees before. And they were everywhere! I wouldn't have even noticed the cheery and flourishing bright red berries and familiar holiday leaves had my hubby not said, "hey, these are holly trees!" There were bright berry-filled holly trees everywhere. And hubby had no idea I had just read and blogged about this powerful healing medicine today, a message that was so poignant not only for the season but to my own journey at this time as well. It was soo magical!!


Here is a photo of Eric surrounded by these beautiful trees.


Needless to say, I was stunned by the synchronicity and wonder of this experience, and I gently broke off a few boughs and brought them home. They are now displayed happily on our mantle, where I am in the presence and energy of this amazing medicine even as I write. It was sooo wonderous! and another reminder that we are led and blessed by the Universe each and every day.

I hope that some readers will take the time to share and read about this medicine in my previous blog. Especially at this Season, it is an important and powerful friend.

love and blessings, and boughs of holly to all.
xx


These are all holly trees embracing a lovely little maryland stream. I have never seen holly trees before. Until today that is!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Guided Elemental Gratitude Practice


Elemental Gratitude
It's the thanks-giving weekend and I am feeling so much gratitude in my life today. Here is a beautiful prayer to practice and celebrate with today,.. en~joy and lots of love.

~          ~           ~
"The air is good. The air within me is good. I am grateful for air.
The earth is good. The earth within me is good. I am grateful for earth.
The water is good. The water within me is good. I am grateful for water.
The fire is good. The fire within me is good. I am grateful for fire."

~          ~          ~

thank you!


Thursday, October 27, 2011

A Minute of Zen


A Minute of Zen - I was just reminded of a zen moment I had over the weekend. my husband was driving and I looked into the rearview mirror from my passenger seat. In the mirror I could see the green trees from alongside the road float rapidly by. One tree, after another tree, after another (I live in foresty Maryland), floating across and through the frame of the mirror. and I immediately thought:... those trees are like my thoughts... just passing by. And I was simply the witness.

It was like, oh, yeah, there's that one again, and that one. and look, they're (thoughts) just floating by like the images in the car-mirror. this after many years of working with the principle and practice. It was so cool! Peace ♥

Monday, October 17, 2011

Belief Smashing: "I Can't" becomes "I Can"


How buying a new bike smashed an old belief.

I recently set out to look for a bicycle after my husband said, hey... we should buy some bicycles!

This was quite a cause for celebration as well. I have not been able to ride a bicycle for about 10 years due to some health issues I have been facing. But upon entering a wonderful local bike shop and test-riding several of the new models, I discovered that not only can I (ride a bike again that is), I really really enjoy it!

So after browsing and riding around in several other shops, enjoying it all the way, I finally found "the one." The bike that fit me and that I wanted to buy. But before I did, I needed to take some time to reflect on my current financial picture and determine exactly how much I felt comfortable spending, if at all, to make this bold new purchase. My family recently faced a period of economic challenge and I have since been committed to staying in what I call my financial intergrity, or not spending anything unless I have the cash on hand. So. I set my price. And I let it go.

I was just about to give up on the idea of buying that new bike at this time, - I kept hearing an old message playing, along with an old sinking feeling inside, saying no, don't buy it now. you can't afford it, - when I asked the Universe to show me the truth about what I CAN and CANNOT afford. Here is what I was shown.

I started to get a new and exciting prompting from inside that was telling me "What do you mean you can't afford it? Of course you can! and not only CAN you, this is cause for great joy and celebration." For even a few months ago, I was experiencing symptoms from a health condition that precluded me from even hoping to take that ride. But today... today I was test riding bikes all over the place. And doing very well!

So where was this old belief really coming from? And what did I need to do to smash it.

I was then transported back into my childhood. That place we all get our old beliefs from in the first place, and it was without blaming my family or anything like that, but just objectively witnessing where this thoughtform really originated for me. And I was surprised to find it was most notably connected to an experience I had as a child who was not allowed to take dance classes. Here is the story that I reviewed.

I was a natural dancer and entertainer at a young age, yes I am a Leo, and though it wasn't my calling to become a professional dancer for the whole of my life, it still was, and is, such an important part of my spirit and need for physical and inner expression. I just LOVED to dance! (still do!) And there were 2 classes for girls taught right next door. At the little community clubhouse in our neighborhood. I would walk past those windows freqently in my youth, peering in at the lucky little ballerinas and tappers who DID get to take those classes. And I could hear the music playing through the window, a sweet little tune that ran over and over in my heart and mind: "I have learned... a ballet dance... if you watch and see!"


Oh how I longed and LONGED to be in there! So I asked my mother if I could enroll. She said no. And then no again, and then no again. I actually asked - no, begged and pleaded is more like it - my mother every year if I could now take dance classes, every year for 12 years ... Can I please take those dance classes?? Her answer always the same: "You can't. We can't afford it."

But we could afford piano lessons, which I hated but did because my mother wanted me to. And we could afford a band instrument and uniform, for the school band I played in for about 3 years which I dreaded but found easy because there were musical genes in my blood (my German grandfather, a beloved musician and teacher) because my father wanted me to. I don't know. I had begun to babysit at age 11 and would save my babysitting money, a considerable amount. I wish someone had just said, "you CAN! you can use your babysitting money for you dance classes!" The thought never crossed my mind - ? - or did it? Was I again told no, I can't?

In any case, looking back over these and other spirit-breakers I experienced, a sensitive creative and gregarious child, passionate even then, I see how I grew up with an iron gate over my heart that would often signal me, if even unconciously, when I continued on in young adulthood. When I came across certain opportunities and creative callings, I would experience a shutting down inside. Something telling me, don't bother. You can't. And feeling sad and even angry because I simply believed that somehow in this lifetime, others could do the things I wanted to do, but I was simply not allowed. And I carried this belief with me, at first unconsciously, for many many years. In fact, it was still affecting me today. Well, yesterday, that is!

And in all fairness to my story, I also did shatter many if not most of the other "I can'ts" from my life. I was told I could't move to New York City by myself after college. "You can't do that!"... I DID. I was told I could NEVER find an apartment in the Manhattan that I could afford by myself. I did that too. And I swam with wild dolphins, and I later moved to New Mexico "because Spirit prompted me to" with barely a dime to my name, all after having been told "Alexa, ... you CAN'T do that!!". Well I DID do those and many other things. I answered my spiritual callings and I even created my dream job and bought myself my very own, and very beautiful I may add, house and home. All after being told "I couldn't do that!"


But looking back, and even just a few weeks ago while contemplating buying myself a wonderful new recreational treat, I was still at some crutial times under the influence of that old worn-out message from my childhood still running somewhere in my brain. It seemed to creep up at key moments and opportunities in my life that were related to my deepest heart-longings and surely in stepping out of the paradigm held once deeply by my old family system. And this is what came up from a simple decision I was making about whether or not to buy myself a bike. A bike that had this little gift in it as well.

Well needless to say, shortly after having that realization I DID buy myself that new bike. This was easy and clear and happened after I found myself experiencing that old familiar message with the sinking feeling inside as well claiming: "no, you can't afford it". And here is what else happened:

So... I had put it out to the Universe. And I had stated to my husband along with that just how much I was willing to spend, just the amount I could make for a cash purchase. And you know what? That bike was on sale the day I went to buy it! Yes! and not only that, it was the last day of the Sale. so I just HAD to buy it, lol. And it all came in, even with the helmet, the lock and the side-mirror, it all came in just under what I had decided would be the maximum I would spend on a bike purchase at this time. And I love it! There are many beautiful nature trails nearby, and I am enjoying it very much. I would say that was some heavenly on-sale synchronicity.

So I am now enjoying it. And celebrating too. And "Yes" I could afford it... and easily, and yes I CAN ride it! Something I was not able to do even a few months ago. So I CAN afford the things that support and feed and nurture and express the joy and fun in life. And I CAN continue to improve and reclaim my physical wellness. And it all shows me the truth of Truths... which totally busted an old and so worn-out story and gave me a brand new real one in it's place, that finally! I can see. ...
Yes I CAN.

And whatever it is, you CAN too!

joke for today

Monday, October 10, 2011

The Four Immeasurables

What are the Four Immeasurables?

According to the Metta Sutta, Shākyamuni Buddha held that cultivation of the four immeasurables has the power to cause the practitioner to be re-born into a Brahma realm.

The four immeasurables are:

Loving-kindness (Pāli: metta, Sanskrit: maitri) towards all: the hope that a person will be well; "the wish that all sentient beings, without any exception, be happy."

Compassion (Pāli and Sanskrit: karuṇā): the hope that a person's sufferings will diminish; "the wish for all sentient beings to be free from suffering."

Empathetic Joy (Pāli and Sanskrit: mudita): joy in the accomplishments of a person — oneself or another; sympathetic joy; "the wholesome attitude of rejoicing in the happiness and virtues of all sentient beings."

Equanimity (Pāli: upekkhā, Sanskrit: upekṣā): learning to accept loss and gain, praise and blame, and success and failure, all with detachment, equally, for oneself and for others. Equanimity is "not to distinguish between friend, enemy or stranger, but regard every sentient being as equal. It is a clear-minded tranquil state of mind - not being overpowered by delusions, mental dullness or agitation."

According to the Metta Sutta, Shākyamuni Buddha held that cultivation of the four immeasurables has the power to cause the practitioner to be re-born into a Brahma realm (Pāli: Brahmaloka).The meditator is instructed to radiate out to all beings in all directions the mental states of: 1) loving-kindness or benevolence, 2) compassion, 3) sympathetic joy, and, 4) equanimity. The four immeasurables are also found in Patañjali's Yoga Sutras, a text composed long after the beginning of Buddhism and substantially influenced by Buddhism. These virtues are also highly regarded by Buddhists as powerful antidotes to negative mental states (non-virtues) such as avarice, anger and pride.


Loving-kindness and compassion are both hopes for the future (leading, where possible, to action aimed at realizing those hopes).

Joy and equanimity are attitudes to what has already happened, but also with regard to consequences for future action.

While these four might be delineated as attitudes to the future or past, they contain the seed of the "present" within their core (as a living embodied practice). This is the essence of the spiritual laws of karma, self-responsibility, and right thoughts (samma sankkalpa, literally 'right commitments'). A dedicated intention that all beings are in the "here and now", tranquil, happy, in touch with their gifts and accomplishments, and feeling interconnected by that synergy to eschew suffering by abdication.

sources: wikpedia.com

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Great Stuff from a Man who brought us some Great Stuff



"Your time is limited, so don't wast it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

"Because the people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones that do." ~ Steve Jobs

"STEVE JOBS ON GENIUS: "Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes. . . the ones who see things differently; they're not fond of rules. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them, because they change things. They push the human race forward and, while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."



The Spiritual Side of Steve Jobs -
Steve Jobs was a Buddhist.... http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/05/tech/innovation/steve-jobs-philosophy/index.html

Monday, October 3, 2011

Finding True Self


Everyone has it.
To know what it is. ...

Take a journey deep within,
And open your eyes wide.
... Then you will know everything. ...

Even without knowing why and how,
Everyone has it in one's heart.
Someday you will see it!
Someday you will see it! ...

Everyone has it.
Remembering what it is.
As if I had been in a deep sleep,
What I have been is not what I have aspired to be,
Nor what I can be. ...

But now I see it well.
I can see it through tears in my eyes.
Now I have a ticket to the stage of my life in my hands.
Though I am only half way there,
I can see there is a great possibility and light at the end. ...

Now more and more people are beginning to awaken as I have,
Yes, it really is a good thing. ...

Now more and more people are beginning to see what I see,
Yes, it really is a good thing.

Il-Chi Lee

Monday, September 12, 2011

Healing the split: letting go of victim consciousness


This post is in quick-flow-draft form but I wanted to share a bit about a most amazing experience I had over the weekend of my recent Shimsung training, an intensive Dahn Yoga training experience, that was quite profound.

What I really saw clearly in an amazing vision, and it included the souls of both of my parents but was most notably with my mother's, and this is an interesting experience truly, but what I saw with my mother's soul was that we too are One. Now that may not sound very big or interesting or important upon first glance. But think of this, we are so interrelated to our mothers and families that rarely is it with them that get a full fledged look-see at their or our mother's cosmic reality. Particularly if we have experienced great dysfunction within that relationship. And this also has threads to every hateful, spiteful, broken hearted, long suffering problem on the planet. That no matter who did what to whom, no matter what, we are.. (take a breath) ... all ... (take another) ... ONE. (pause)

Do you see what I'm getting at?

In any case, re the deep and often at-first entangled and complex mother-daughter bond, whether in bliss or bother, in trauma or in faith, the mother/daughter relationship is a quite fierce and most complex one, is it not my women friends?

In any case, and not simply at all, but profoundly, I saw my own mother's God-Self.  As I had never seen it before. I mean, I saw it. It was profound. It was huge, huge Light. I saw her core, her self, her soul... without all her stuff, without all of the dysfunctoinal stuff she has carried and that I too have carried, I saw her real Self. God's Light. (Make the Goddess Light). Huge. Stunning. woa. And I also saw how all of what had been unresolved inside of her had been passed forward also somewhere to me, to become my own.

I was then, and by then I mean over the next several days, bombarded by the witnessing and cleansing of many many old and very underlying core beliefs. The classics. In me. The Toltecs call them agreements, but they are just beliefs we have that stem from our earliest life experiences. And we all have them. And they have gotten terribly jumbled in the mix over time. I tell you, I have never, and mean, never, so clearly witnessed what was truly living and wreaking havoc, despair, grief, fear and pain inside of me. The beliefs were crystalline clear and flying out of corners and closets I had never fully grapsed before. Those core beliefs that say "I can't...." "Not good enough"... "weird"... "different"... "not acceptable.." etc, etc. It was so crystalline clear, and I met them with the gentleness of a friend. It was beautiful somehow, and wonderful too, to have these subconscious notions appearing and clearing so clearly, in rapid succession, in order to finally go back to whence they came. To nothingness. It is still a re-wiring process, to be sure. But I feel that alas, those new replacement beliefs, the real and ultimate truths, do finally have room to truly take root. "I can..." "Good enough..." "GodSelf"... "allowed." 
I'm still working on integrating the vision that I had and healing the split in me re all I have been through with my parents, mostly my mother in this and other lifetimes. and she may not have chosen to heal or get there in this or any other recent lifetime, but I'm becoming ok with that too, and more fully able to accept her just the way she is, without having to change anything at all. It is a real boost to building my autonomy. And I feel that I have truly broken free from the past now as well.

So though we still have our own and evolving, healing, back and forth mother/daughter relationship, I have seen and can return to the truth that I have also now witnessed in a very literal and big big way as well, that she is the Light of Light's too. This she too may have forgotten, but she is ever searching like everyone else, somewhere in her, she is ever searching too. To know her true self, to be liberated from her suffering.

But I am stunned by what I did clearly see and witness those few weeks ago. And I think the important part for me right now is to give myself time, to be with, and meditate with, and grow that space, the space that knows the master consciousness. Which surely includes that these are in terms of the matrix not 'real' families at all (but that's another topic) and in terms of the mother/daughter relationship this, to me, to have this vision for my human inner self is quite deep and richly profound. I am experiencing the dissolution of the victim consciousness.

Practicing forgiveness (and forgiveness to me simply means 'letting it go')
is like setting a prisoner free, and realizing that the prisoner was indeed ... myself.

this is one step from my healing-journey that has led to my awakening and liberation. namaste

Friday, September 2, 2011

Let's have lunch - how to take our power back from a dysfunctional political system



To the degree that we are cleansed from the dominating lower energies of our subconscious, will be the degree of the impact we will have on the world as a whole. Each one of us just by living & being are changing the world every day, we just have to choose what exact change we are looking for, if any. - Ron Hansen

Here is a great idea for maturizing the upcoming election process. For those who dare to do ...

How do we take our power back from a dysfunctional political system?

Several weeks ago I was sitting at lunch with a friend who stands somewhere on the opposite side of the political fence from me. We were sharing a nice afternoon with his family, my family and some of his kids, and he brought up one of the proverbial "off limits" topics.. something politically charged. He began to talk about an issue that is very politically charged at this time, and clearly he had personal feelings and sentiments mixed passionately in with it as well. I listened attentively and openly, with openminded detachment. But then I too felt so passionately about my own viewpoints and perspectives that I found myself chiming in, something that I rarely choose to do when politics are concerned. But this was different. And this Time in history (herstory?) is different. It is a time of great change and global calllings. And it is so important that we "the people" get it together and begin the peacemaking and discussion and reordering/compromising/harmonizing ourselves. I know we can do it. I know we are all ultimately of the same human heart. So...


I shared my views while holding the space for us both to be equally heard and respected. Yes, the discussion got a bit heated, although it stayed friendly. And when we wrapped it up, and brought it mostly to a close, he said "Alexa, there is no one else I would rather have this discussion with than you." After which his nearly 80-year old mother gave me a fast high five. Like, wow! I can't believe you did that. It made me smile. We had peacefully, though passionately, shared our seemingly-opposing views on a heated issues, and we even followed the discussion with him sharing some interesting and potential-filled ideas on how we could make compromise and possibly solve some of these issues with some ingenuity and out-of-the-box thinking and ideas. We had ideas on the table to make effective and humane change. Were we only leaders in Washington at this time! We're not, of course, but it goes to show that we ALL have friends on all sides of the political spectrum and we each have something to contribute to the solutions. We can not only get along, but actually come up with ideas that both of us can feel settled with, but more importantly, that work.

I am passionate about seeing new order and maturity coming into our lives and world. Of finding peaceful and swift solutions to today's potential dangers and problems. And today, wth the impending election process quickly creeping up on us, and with so many critical national and global issues now in our hands, from environmental to economic stability and sustainablity, I am taking a real look into how we can take our power back as voters. For no matter which 'side' of the fence we stand, left, right, middle or something else, the obvious majority of us can clearly see that the emotional immaturity and dysfunction being acted out already in these early days of pre-election is not only an embarassment in the global community, but foolish as well.

"We the people" are clearly all collectively tired of the outrageously dysfunctional behaviors we see displayed so unabashedly during these political times. Emotional outbursts based on nothing but perhaps old unprocessed wounding, elementary school-like finger pointing, name calling, void of intellegent or mature discourse, adults acting out like children caught in unfounded temper tantrums and ridiculous rants while on televsion and abroad. Where is the honor? Where is the self-respect? There is none. It is such dishonorable behavior. As voters we simply should not give them the time of day. Thus putting out our call for mature human beings who want to become part of a new government body. This is, after all, a time of genuine crisis and wake-up calls.

What so many of us are seeing and feeling and wanting now more than ever, and finally, in these problematic but also potential-filled times, is the fulfillment and co-creation of a new and more mature, functional, government system. That requires mature and functional people to take on these positions.

We know we have the technology, to clean up our earth, the brains, to solve the challenges, the consciousness, to do the right and humanistic things, to make the world a better place. For a more peaceful, clean, and yes, more sane and safe (and dare I say happy?) tomorrow.

So how do we the people create this more effective, and frankly, grown-up, political body? The answer is, of course, the same as it always is: recovery. We have to first take responsibiltiy for our own unconscious patterning. To be the peace, the sanity, the groundedness we want to see in the world. By taking resonsiblity for our own stuff, our own consciousness and conscientiouness during this electoral time, and year-round frankly.

Want a new paradigm? I know I do. Here is a great power-enhancing idea from Elizabeth Lesser that can point all of us into a much needed new direction. And it is not a foreign idea to me. For I too already know, that we ARE all one people. And no matter what our so-called political leanings, we all have friends and neighbors with differing views on certain things that we already live in harmony with who are in our lives everyday.

So let's have lunch! Here is the article:


Why You Should Take Your Demons to Lunch
By Elizabeth Lesser

Looking past divisive politics and differing views to the person on the other side of the issue may be challenging, but it's not impossible. Elizabeth Lesser, cofounder of the Omega Institute and author of Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, suggests starting with lunch.

"Otherising" is the dangerous act of turning someone into the enemy just because he or she looks different, prays different, speaks different, or thinks different. Some of history's most tragic events—wars, genocides, terrorist acts—began with ordinary people demonizing other ordinary people.

I noticed a remarkable amount of otherising during the 2008 presidential race. And there was one woman doing it who bothered me the most—me! I'm a true believer in our capacity to care and cooperate, but there I was, participating in otherising rants, calling whole groups of people evil wrongdoers, though I had never talked to them.

Which is how I came to find myself having lunch with an activist from the other side, talking about our kids, jobs, and hopes for society. It was the first of many such meetings I've had in the years since in an attempt to breed civility in my heart. I call my experiment Take the Other to Lunch.

First, think of a person you may be otherising—maybe a woman from a different side of the abortion debate or your brother who doesn't believe in global warming. Next, tell that person you'd like to understand him or her better. Ask if they would like to do the same with you. Agree to these ground rules: Be curious, conversational, and real. Don't persuade or interrupt. Listen, listen, listen. (You can start by asking: What were some of your most defining experiences? What issues deeply concern you? What have you always wanted to ask someone from the "other side"?)

Will the heavens open and "We Are the World" start playing over the restaurant's sound system? Doubtful. But in the lunches I have shared, I have grown in compassion and patience. And as another election nears, perhaps if enough of us take each other to lunch, we can give our country the civility makeover it needs.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

From Codependency to Freedom


Looking back over the past 7 years of my personal recovery journey and it is startling to witness how differently I feel today. I am truly feeling liberated. Seven years ago this year I was fortunate to find myself attending some rather rare and precious classes with some rather rare and precious master teachers. They were teachers leading a 7 week class in codependency recovery. And this learning truly changed my life. It was definitely the missing piece in my own long-active spiritual path. And I am so grateful for that class (and those teachers/arch-angels extraordinairre) today. That learning healed me. And set me free to move beyond. Here is a post I shared a few years ago. It still holds true today. For those embarking on the deeper path to emotional healing and recovery, wishing you peace, joy and serenity. And most of all... flight! It happens. :)

From Codependency to Freedom -
Are you recovering from codependency? Do you have traits of the codependent emotional system?
Recovery from co-dependency happens with Awareness, inner healing and learning to identify and own your feelings. Learning what your true emotions are and how to express them is equally important.

Codependency is a trauma coping behavior system and happens when we are raised in environments that did not feel safe or emotionally nurturing. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find threads of codependency in your own life.

Here are some of the characteristics of having grown up in dysfunctional homes:
from coda.org

Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence
These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. Persons may experience some, most or all of these traits. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.

Denial Patterns:
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:
I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good
enough."
I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings or behavior over
my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable person.

Compliance Patterns:
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or
others' anger.
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same (high level empath).
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long (may apply to contact with family of origin).
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid
to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others
want.

Control Patterns:
I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of
themselves.
I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how
they "truly" feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others
www.coda.org


I am passionate about my own recovery from codependency. The earned rewards (gifts) from codependency recovery are many, and include acceptance (inner peace), bridging your duality, self-love, empowerment, compassion (for self) and becoming Whole again.

I never thought of myself as codependent. In fact, I was and am a fiercely independent and adventurous spirit. But when I "stumbled upon" codependency recovery along my own healing journey, the truth and wisdom I felt in those classes brought me to a new level of understanding and healing myself. I realized that although I could stand on my own, I sometimes struggled emotionally. I had a terrible anxiety, especially in new groups of people, and in fact had great difficulty identifying my own feelings and internal boundaries within my family and beyond. A sensitive, it was easy for me to get lost in the energy and emotions of another. I was highly empathic, yes, but I found out this was also b/c there were not strong boundaries in my own dysfunctional family. And although I had strong shamanic and invisible spiritual awareness, I still had struggles in my family of origin. I found out this is because of my human path. What a relief! I found people who "got it", and me! And people who were working consciously on their own return to Wholeness. I finally felt a peace I cannot explain. Because it all, and by "it" I mean "I"... started to make sense.

Today: Knowing myself feels good. I am empowered. So does having well-established boundaries. I am free to be whole in myself and to experience more awareness, freedom and joy than ever before. I love meeting new people. And I love to share the gift with others.

I'll sign-off today with this proverb:
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was going to end, it became a butterfly.
Fly freely. It's time.

Monday, August 22, 2011

I have been reborn

I have just been reborn! (literally!) I graduated this weekend from a 20 hour intensive Shimsung training program and my old life is over! In fact, the day I met my Teacher my watch stopped. At 11:51pm... almost the same time I was born (I was born at 10:53pm). My watch began to slow to a crawl at 6pm just after meeting my teacher; and stopped completely a few hours later just before midnight. That was the day the training began. My gorgeous hubby turned and said to me, your old life is over, and your new life has begun. He was right. (and he's next! lol). After completing 22 hours of Shimsung process and training and graduating the class, after having a forgiveness experience with my parents (and now myself) that I am so deeply grateful for, and after experiencing something I can scarcely discuss right now, my goal today is to continue to learn and practice and study and grow with my new dahn yoga master teacher. So happy! My Intent is to strengthen my core, enjoy my true self, and continue to expand my master consciousness. For myself. And for others and the world. Kamsamnida!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Spider Medicine: Definitely

Our grandmother spider is at it again! She is huge and beautiful and definitely calling for our attention. We watch her every night. Had to look up the official medicine. Here it is:

Spider Medicine -- a totem of the feminine

1) Grandmother Spider was the woman who, out of her dreams, created the earth and the people who reside here (energy and the power of creativity). She is known as a great teacher, storyteller, as well as a protector and keeper of knowledge.

In her web she brought the alphabet to us (a form of communication and learning), as well as the ancient language of geometric shapes. In her web, she weaves the connections of past, present, and future (time) together. The web is spun in spirals, and she generally sits in the middle of it, gathering patience for things to come. As she waits there, she reminds us that we are all the center of our own world, but keeping in mind that we have a strong interaction with the rest of the universe. The web also represents the medicine wheel and the wheel of life. The web is constantly changing by what the universe brings to it, as mother spider begins her web anew each day.

The spider knows to follow the most direct route. Each spider has eight legs, which also form the number eight (8). When you see the number written, you will notice that it forms the infinity symbol, which encompasses all of time (past, present, and future). I believe that if you break down what infinity really is, it's just unconditional love and the energy of it. The eight legs are also representative of the four winds of change and the four directions. The body of the spider has two oval or round parts, also forming the number eight, and can represent the flow from one circle of life to another; death and rebirth; change. As the spider grows, it sheds its outer layer just as we let go of the things in life that we no longer need and which no longer serve us.

Contrary to popular belief, spiders are agile, gentle, strong, and extremely delicate creatures and are always a good sign when they show up in your life. They are also helpful in that they eat those little pesky buggers that like to dine on us!

Remember that each time we work on and heal ourselves, we are helping to heal everything and everyone else since we are all connected through the web. Live in love, light, and happiness! from www.spiderwomantherapies.com

2) shorter version - Spider Medicine represents creativity. Its 8 legs represent the 4 winds of change and the 4 directions on the medicine wheel. Its body is in the shape of an 8, which represents infinite possibilities. "Spider people" must look beyond the web of illusion of the physical world and look beyond the horizon to other dimensions.
It means, "wake up girl and get creative. You've got a lot to say. Think, create, think, create." Needless to say, spider medicine was telling me to get back to my office and start weaving new patterns for my life. from www.drstandly.com


I feel so blessed to be in the presence of her great medicine. and I love her!

Spider medicine?

Every evening this week my hubby and I have been watching a rather bulbous spider come out and spin a wonderous web across our back deck. She is so fascinating and it is amazing to watch. She shoots herself (and her web) across from the wall of the house to the posts and the chairs, and you can see her miticulous little "hands" working so fast and hard, like a master knitter, and with such precision.. each and every night. In the morning, the web is gone. No doubt (as my hubby describes it) blown away by the insects and wriggling from the night before. Then, just at dusk, she appears again on our porch, another mituculous spinning for another day's (or nite's) meal. - She does resemble Charlotte actually, and we are waiting to see "smart dog" written in her art! in the meantime, I am so inspired to honor my own daily routines. Of working, cleaning and preparing our meals. We may have to do them every day. But she is a glowing example of dedication to the daily chores that simply need to get done. On the other hand, I think her medicine is also that of a dream weaver. And of weaving a new dream. I'll have to look it up! and it has been fascinating to watch. namaste miraculous spider.


PT. II - Spider Medicine: Definitely
Our grandmother spider is at it again. She is huge and beautiful and definitely calling for our attention. We watch her every night. Had to look up the official medicine. Here it is:

Spider Medicine -- a feminine totem
1) Grandmother Spider was the woman who, out of her dreams, created the earth and the people who reside here (energy and the power of creativity). She is known as a great teacher, storyteller, as well as a protector and keeper of knowledge.

In her web she brought the alphabet to us (a form of communication and learning), as well as the ancient language of geometric shapes. In her web, she weaves the connections of past, present, and future (time) together. The web is spun in spirals, and she generally sits in the middle of it, gathering patience for things to come. As she waits there, she reminds us that we are all the center of our own world, but keeping in mind that we have a strong interaction with the rest of the universe. The web also represents the medicine wheel and the wheel of life. The web is constantly changing by what the universe brings to it, as mother spider begins her web anew each day.

The spider knows to follow the most direct route. Each spider has eight legs, which also form the number eight (8). When you see the number written, you will notice that it forms the infinity symbol, which encompasses all of time (past, present, and future). I believe that if you break down what infinity really is, it's just unconditional love and the energy of it. The eight legs are also representative of the four winds of change and the four directions. The body of the spider has two oval or round parts, also forming the number eight, and can represent the flow from one circle of life to another; death and rebirth; change. As the spider grows, it sheds its outer layer just as we let go of the things in life that we no longer need and which no longer serve us.

Contrary to popular belief, spiders are agile, gentle, strong, and extremely delicate creatures and are always a good sign when they show up in your life. They are also helpful in that they eat those little pesky buggers that like to dine on us!

Remember that each time we work on and heal ourselves, we are helping to heal everything and everyone else since we are all connected through the web. Live in love, light, and happiness! from www.spiderwomantherapies.com

2) shorter version - Spider Medicine represents creativity. Its 8 legs represent the 4 winds of change and the 4 directions on the medicine wheel. Its body is in the shape of an 8, which represents infinite possibilities. "Spider people" must look beyond the web of illusion of the physical world and look beyond the horizon to other dimensions.
It means, "wake up girl and get creative. You've got a lot to say. Think, create, think, create." Needless to say, spider medicine was telling me to get back to my office and start weaving new patterns for my life. from www.drstandly.com

I feel so blessed to be in the presence of her great medicine. and I can't wait to see what magical web she weaves tonite!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Polarity Balancing: Embracing our anger

In order to heal and release something, we must first meet it as a friend.

It is 2011 and many of us are feeling a real pull to finish healing or wrapping up certain issues we may have been processing for quite some time now. Myself, I have been working on harmonizing my inner polarities and have come to some real peace with the issues of anger. And you know what is helping me to strengthen and shift the most? It is this: honoring and listening to my anger.

Anger is not something to run away from. Even the Dalai Lama will tell you "of course I still get angry! if people never get angry I think something is wrong in their head!" lol (and he was! laughing out loud)

I believe that anger is a friend. A God given messenger that alterts us when something is wrong, not good for us, and needs changing. Indeed, it is anger that has fueled, not ego-driven madd anger, but grounded healthy anger, with consciousness, that has fueled some of our greatest human historical feats to date (ie: ghandi freeing India, MLK's civil rights transformation, women being granted the right to vote, etc etc.) So anger is there as energy, as a messenger to guide us to the next right steps. If we work with it as a friend, and non-violently. yes? and then, it too shall pass.

And as I continue to release and clean out my own inner polarity issues, a sign of the times it seems these days, I close with this:

the time is now for some great healings to occur. don't be afraid to feel what you are feeling. and don't swallow it down! it is time for releasing it. (for good!) express your feelings in a safe and appropriate place, ... and then let them go! and set yourself free. It's time!


let your authenticity be your guide.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

2011: Liberation from the dream of the planet


it's 2011 and many of us are being asked to bring our polarities into balance. as the shift is happening, and swiftly, it surely can be a wobbly time! just look at what the house and senate have been forced to do! compromise? I look at where compromise is needed in my own life as well. And the wells to this one run deep. Cleaning up my own inner polar clashes at this time, bringing harmony in through the duality, and though I can't say it necessarily feels "good," it is good, and on another level it is truly exciting. Liberation! It is time to be Free. namaste and lots of love to those on the deeper healing path at this momentous time.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Creating Space: letting go of stuff

After making a big move to Maryland recently, I am reflecting and enjoying the fact that I have let go of sooo many things!

I wanted and intended my new home to be what I call zen: clear, uncluttered, and only filled with things that fill and feed my current life and happiness. This meant letting go of old clothing that I no longer like or wear, old kitchen items like plates and things I rarely used, and even many of my old once-treasured spiritual and healing books. My current bookcase holds 9, sometimes 10 books, books that I am currently reading or refer to and simply one or two of my powercharged (or cooking!)favorites. This feels good and right for me. It is also easier to keep clean and I am enjoying my new practice of respecting my space by not only keeping but enjoying keeping my living space tidy and clear, and I am... enjoying it that is!

I am also loving being here in Maryland very much. It is beautiful, multi-cultural, rich in warmth and spirit, and gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. It is so green with trees everywhere, and with the coast waters nearby and a wonderful kind of humidity and nurture, it feels similar to a rainforest (to me). And my body is loving that too.

This was a very welcomed surprise for me. And I am truly embracing it. We, my hubby and I both that is, are also enjoying many new and/or reunited friendships and already a sense of community that we were missing very much. I feel so blessed.

The creating of my new space has also come at the right time for me, a time for expanding both my inner and outer spaces again, and of deepening my inner study and its meaning to me.

Here are a few first pics from Maryland, on a cloudy day. Wishing you peace and wellbeing, and the freedom of releasing some (inner or outer) clutter today!

namaste





 

Monday, June 6, 2011

2011: Endings, Rebirths and New Beginnings


I have been noticing endings, rebirth and new beginnings in so many places lately that I thought I would write a bit about it. We are seeing themes everywhere of endings and new beginnings, one of the most obvious public reflections of this perhaps is the ending of the Oprah Winfrey Show and the beginning of her new and larger network OWN. Not a coincidence that it is all happening just at the cusp of 2012, one great cycle ending and another about to unfold. This is but one example. These movements and this energy of changes, endings and rebirths, can be seen at this momentous time just about everywhere.

For me, my hubby and I are moving from Colorado back to the East coast, the place of both our roots. It is full circle certainly for me who ventured away from New York City at age 31 back in the 1990s following my spiritual promptings that led me to the beautiful high desert of New Mexico. I lived there for 11 wonderful and transformative years, years in which I explored and lived so many dreams, came into my own in more than one area of my life, met and married my beloved husband, met a great Shaman who has influenced every day of my life since, played and created and healed and traveled through so many spaces, both wonderful and terribly hard, and had even built my first home there. Most importantly it also became the land of my greatest healing and my greatest awakening and education so far. It will always be my 'the home to my soul' on the planet. Though it was clearly time to leave the womb when I left. I felt that as soon as I landed there 15 years ago, and indeed, for the 2 years prior to that when I heard the Universe calling to my soul in a tall concrete building somewhere in NYC. - It was whispering "New Mexico, New Mexico."

That was many years ago now, but the journey I had there and indeed here in the West is about to come to closure. And I am truly reminiscing, celebrating, and releasing it all. It is time to again move forward.



So now after 4 1/2 more years in the West, this time in Colorado, it is finally,(and I do mean finally! we have had to wait on so many out-of-our-control things), it is finally time to make this next big move. And at the cusp of this change in cycles, it is truly a momentous time.

And so farewell to the old and hello to the new. Thank you chapter for all you have been. I now have another great chapter to live and unfold.

namaste

and peace, love and so many blessings to everyone experiencing these big inner and outer life shifts and long-time coming changes today. They may still be coming with a few labor pains as they have been for me, or maybe even alot of them, but it's all good, and it's all God.

namaste and happy blessed rebirth
see you from Maryland!!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

This Is It: The Art of Living in the Present



"When my mind departed on a journey to the past or the future, I would catch myself and say, "This is it." This moment is my life, completely."



An excerpt for staying in the present: When I was 20, I found a community in Northern California where I became a serious student of Zen Buddhism. Beyond the seated meditation practice, Zen emphasized mindfulness in everyday life: paying full attention when walking, eating, making the bed or working in the garden. At first, staying focused was difficult—my mind still wandered—but as I continuously brought my focus back to what I was doing, the mental fog began to slowly lift.

After a few years, I was appointed the community's cook, and the job came with a spiritual manual called Instructions to the Chief Cook. Poetic and inspirational, this ancient Zen text stressed that preparing food was not just a mundane activity, but a form of active meditation. Cutting vegetables, washing rice and boiling water, when done with full attention, was seen as the activity of the Buddha. These teachings became my daily road map to staying aware.

There was also a famous Zen poem that I would return to. It said that Nirvana, or enlightenment, was right here and now—that this body was the Buddha's body and this place was the pure land. From this poem, I created my own catchphrase that would come into my head many times a day—an inner anchor to bring me back to the present moment. I would say to myself, "This is it." These three words nailed the entire view of meditation. This is it.

So, when my mind departed on a journey to the past or the future, I would catch myself and say, "This is it." This moment is my life, completely.

When I would catch myself daydreaming or operating on automatic pilot, I would say to myself, "This is it," and it would bring me right back to the present. And whenever I would get worried, depressed or want things to be different than they were, I would ease my mind by saying, "This is it."

This phrase may not sound like profound prayer, a powerful mantra or positive affirmation, but it was my touchstone, and it worked. Those three words stopped my habitual seeking mind, the mind that always wants something different, better, bigger or newer, the mind that is always yearning for special experiences, easier times or a different life, the mind that wants someone or something to rescue us. Whenever I found myself ruminating on how things should be different, I would say, "This is it," and perhaps only for a moment, came home to a more present experience of reality.


This. This very ordinary moment is it. We don't need to seek the extraordinary because when we allow ourselves to be fully at home in the ordinary, it becomes extraordinary and full of wonder.

When we think this is not it, not good enough, not the right time, not the right place, not the right person—when we think happiness is in the future, after we lose 20 pounds, after we find the right lover, after we get a better job—then we are in constant hoping, waiting, scheming and seeking, living our lives in a time warp, disconnected from here and now.

This is it reminds us that we can find the magic, the spiritual and the sublime in the ordinary, in this next breath, in this chair, in this body. This is not just another philosophy orsomething else to believe. Instead, it is something to experience, and I invite you to try it out. Make it an experiment. Try it anywhere and anytime.

This is it. This is the only life that you are living. This moment, as you read these words—your life is completely unfolding. This body is the Buddha. This land is the pure land. Nirvana is here and now.

Josh Baran
former Zen priest and communications consultant

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Which path do I choose - fear or love?


Most of us think that love is our relationship to some other person or object in the physical plane and it is not. Love is our relationship with the source of all life and consciousness, and that implies trust and confidence. The real meaning of faith.

CHOOSING LOVE

As we create all that happens to us through our thoughts, beliefs and expectations it behooves us to be cautious when we use the most powerful creative words in the English language – ‘I AM’.

We are not our emotions, yet we identify so strongly with them that we find ourselves saying ‘I am angry’, ‘I am a failure’, ‘I am sick’ instead of knowing these to be strong feelings and acknowledging them as such.

‘I feel angry’, I feel a failure’, I feel sick’ is seeing things as they are and knowing that these are not permanent conditions … unless you cling to them by identifying with them.

If you would penetrate these emotions you would find that they become self revelatory as you are lead to the beliefs behind such feelings. When you become more and more aware of your directing influence upon what seems to ‘happen’ to you, your conscious mind will no longer fear the emotions, or the body, as threatening or unpredictable, but sense the great creative collaboration that is inherent, and you will begin to take responsibility for your own creations.

Physical phenomena are not the cause of your beliefs and emotions, but the result. Awareness is the key to creation. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings and see how often you choose fear. Realise that these feelings form your experience.

The bottom line of every challenge you face is ‘which path shall I choose, fear or love’? Indeed, every personal problem, every global event whether it be natural disasters, wars or other forms of violence asks the same question of you. ‘Which path shall you choose, fear or love’?

Most of us think that love is our relationship to some other person or object in the physical plane and it is not. Love is our relationship with the source of all life and consciousness, and that implies trust and confidence. The real meaning of faith.

Know that you have never done anything wrong and that you are not being punished. Nor are you abandoned or unloved. The moment you become aware of your inseparable relationship to the Source of all life and consciousness, you can consciously draw on its greater strength, understanding and energy.

It is always available, but your conscious intent will bring about certain changes in you that will automatically trigger such benefits. You do not have to be a mystic to use these powers. All you need is intent. Show your intent by saying to yourself mentally over and over again – ‘I CHOOSE LOVE’

Every time you feel the emotions of fear run through the corridors of your mind, declare your intent ... ‘I CHOOSE LOVE’ and watch the miracle begin.

Zen Intuitive Healing


note from alexa - I haven't been writing much personally lately as I have been in the process of a big move (in more ways than one) but I do love to share a good article. Thank you to Zen Intuitive for today's inspiring article. May the joy and wellness be with you.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

One of his students asked the Buddah...


One of his students asked Buddha, " Are you the messiah?" "No", answered Buddha. "Then are you a healer?" ..."No", Buddha replied. "Then are you a teacher?" the student persisted. "No, I am not a teacher." "Then what are you?" asked the student, exasperated. Buddah replied: "I am awake."

I Am Space

I am space / I am the sun,

I am directions / Above and below / I am the Gods / I am the demons / I am all beings / I am darkness / I am the earth / I am the ocean.

As long as there is a you and I there is no liberation / No freedom. When there is (a difference between) you and I, there is no joy, no peace.

Renounce all notions / And then renounce the renouncer / Of those notions.

When even the notion of the ego sense has ceased / Then you will be like the ocean / Free, unbounded, eternal.

Ego does not exist anymore than water exists in a mirage; this lifetime of ours is as transient as passing clouds.


by Deepak Chopra

Monday, April 18, 2011

Letting go of the need to be liked


Not Everyone will Like You

When someone doesn’t like you, rather than taking it personally we can release the need for approval and move on.

It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits.



While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity.


As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are.




We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too.




Cocreating our lives with the universe and its energy of pure potential, we transcend limitations and empower ourselves to shine our unique light, fully and freely.


narrative by DailyOm