I am a Changing Woman Goddess

 

This Changing Woman - Are you a Changing Woman Goddess?

 

Every now and again I come across something so beautiful and timely I feel compelled to share it. This is one of them. Dedicated to my soul and my soul sisters who are alongside myself gracefully becoming the elder older Goddess Sisters we are each destined to be-come. Namaste. We have earned our larger wings. And the rite to step into our true Power. Share your Wisdom, Spread your Love.

 

This Changing Woman - 

Painting by  Ruth Zacharay

Narrative by Goddess Leonie Dawson

 I’m always surprised at how long healing takes.

Here I am, a couple of months since admitting mama-burnout.

And I’m still not healed.

Things are getting better, yes.

But fully healed? Not at all.

I’m still aching. Still finding out how to balance my life. Still understanding what is happening with my body, my hormones, my life, my mind.

This week, I saw this picture of Changing Woman.

In her, I see myself. I see how my own face has shifted from full round maiden face into a thinner, stronger mama’s face. It’s taking some getting used to.

I thought it was just me. Just me who did this wild, hard initiation into mamahood.

But seeing that photo gave me a healing, a reassurance, a medicine.

That this was the natural order of things. Of life, of womanhood, of growth, of change.

I am becoming all goddesses.

I’ve been a maiden. And baby, I lived the shit out of my maiden life! I rocked it so hard!

I was brave and fearless and utterly optimistic and wide faced.

I saw the world as untouched.

And as mama, having gone through that initiation of birth, of caring and tending so intensely to a tiny baby soul, I’m not who I once was.

I have been carved away at. I am etched. I am both hollower and stronger.

I never thought it would be this hard.

So hard to find my life again. Myself again. My centre, my core, my balance.

But here I am.

The thing is?

I don’t want anyone to take this journey away from me.

I don’t want anyone to make it easier for me.

I don’t want to go back to being a maiden again.

I want to stand in my own power, as a woman, and claim this.

I want to carve out what I need to carve out in my life.

I need to give myself time and space everyday to be filled up again.

I will not bow down to what I Think A Mother/Goddess/Woman Looks Like.

I will only bow and pray at the altar of Who This Woman Is And What She Desires To Create.

I will not cave to sadness, to hopelessness, to loss.

I will be brave.

I will ask for what I need.

I will find a way to give it to myself.

I will be whole again.

I will find myself again. And I will be richer, braver and wiser for it. For this. For this change and this initiation.

I will be okay.

I will be okay.

I will be okay.

I will not cave to anything but what is whole and helpful and true.

I am writing this in a tiny turquoise room at a cafe.

For the first time since mamahood began, I have claimed myself this time.

I have left my sleeping babe next to my love.

I have pulled on a new long, floating dress – one that skims past my ankles. It is green and gold and earthy and soft.

I have gathered my laptop, my water and some gold coins.

I have walked across the muddy field behind our house to get to the street.

I searched for a cafe.

And here I sit.

I will not be anxious.

I will not worry whether babe has awoken.

I trust she will be okay.

That no matter what, she and her daddy will find their way around each other, falling into step in their daddy-daughter dance.

I will trust that this time is good for me. For her. For him. For all of us.

I will trust this need of mine to fill my own cup. To breathe. To sit. To let spill. To be who I am outside of being a mama.

I know when I return to that little cottage of ours, I will be better for it. Happier. More whole.

I will keep finding the courage and strength and wisdom to keep making this time for myself.

I will keep finding my way back to my self, my soul, my centre.

I will keep loving myself. Adoring myself. Adorning myself with what is true, what feels right, and what is good.

I will be whole.

I am whole.

I sit, close my eyes. A small smile dances across my lips. My shoulders suddenly release and drop an inch. I did not know I had been holding them up so tight.

But here they are. Relaxed. At ease.

I am finding my way home again.

I am finding my way home.

Changing Woman art by Ruth Zachary
written/shared by LeonieDawson.com
www.leoniedawson.com

please visit her site at link

The Zen Garden - Don't Depend on Results

The Zen Garden

A famous dignitary was coming to visit a Zen monestary and intense preparations were being made for the visit. The Master instructed the monks to carefully rake up all the leaves that had fallen over their beautiful rock garden. The monks gave particular attention to this task as this garden was a source of great acclaim. The task was completed perfectly about half an hour before the visit.

The Zen Master then went to a deck that was directly above the garden to inspect the outcome of the monks' work. He saw that every leaf had been raked, all the weeds removed, and the rocks hosed down so that they were gleaming in the sun. Some of the monks down below saw him inspecting the garden. They had completed the work just in time.

After the Master was satisfied with their work, he left for a moment and then returned with a huge bag of old leaves. To the monks' horror and without a moment's notice, he immediately tossed them down all over the garden again.

"Now this is a perfect Zen garden," said the Master. "Don't forget that."

The master was teaching that work itself suffices, to forget about results. Whatever life brings is perfect. One cannot improve upon that.

Don't Depend on Results

Psychologically speaking, the Zen Master withdrew the satisfaction the monks could have attained for their efforts. Some might call this nihilism, saying that effort doesn't matter. Their efforts did matter, but in an entirely different way. It mattered that they did their best each moment. It also mattered that they could accept whatever consequences came.

from ZenMiracles by Brenda Shoshanna

A Note from Kabir

This morning I went looking for my Buddah Nature.
Buddah Nature, I asked, where have you gone?

This is what I heard:

Are you looking for me? I am in the next seat.

My shoulder is against yours.

You will not find me in stupas, not in Indian shrine,
Nor rooms, nor in synagogues, nor in cathedrals:

Not in masses, nor kirtans, not in legs winding

Around your own neck, nor in eating

nothing but

Vegetables.

-- Kabir

"A Note from Kabir" from the desk of Alexa Major

Embracing True Self

Embracing True Self - Freedom to Be You

The greatest work I have done to raise my consciousness was emotional recovery work. The consciousness work is easy. Travelling to other realms and tuning in to God/Source/Conscious space is easy. It is the emotional work that is hard to do. Until you do it. Then it too becomes easy, joyful, fulfilling, and free. And it is the missing piece, I am telling you, it is the missing piece in so many wise seeker's journeys.


I feel a ramble coming on today, but this is so important at this time and I see it again and again that those who are held back and stuck on their paths are simply withholding the need to do their emotional processing. If emotional processing is new to you, put out a call for the right teacher/guide to appear and get to work. It will change your life. It will free your mind.


You cannot, I will say it again, you cannot move forward on your consciousness space with emotional energy stagnant inside. Honoring how you feel is the Path. You must learn to honor, embrace and most importantly EXPRESS your emotionality. We are human and we have human feelings. Learning to identify, become intimate and accepting, and then embracing and loving of our emotionality will change your life! It will clean your conscious space. It will lead you to both clarity and self knowing. And when you know your self, your little self in addition to your big Self, when you have travelled through all those places that everyone, all of us, each one of us, will travel through at some point on their evolutionary path, each step and new awareness an initiation, you will come to see yourself in every other human being on the planet. Trust me! ... No, don't trust me, try it out and then trust yourself.


It is through the process of identifying, responding to and expressing our emotions that we come to be able to live fully, freely, authentically, deeply, compassionately, from a place of self knowing and self love, (this is the mastery of love, to know and embrace all of our selves). Then to be able to be and express ourselves, as ourselves, in the world. And this world needs YOU. It needs your unique constitution and gifts, and you cannot be you without coming to know and embrace your emotional self.


As you love and learn to know and respond to your feelings, your map in life evolution, you will come to know and love every other being on the planet, human or non-human animal. We are all thinking, feeling, spiritual, sentient beings. And through your emotional recovery process you will  ignite your Awareness and SEE yourself, as divine and human. In knowing yourself you will know all others. For we are ALL the same essentially. And you cannot know others or fully embrace yourself until you know your self through how you feel. How your inner child feels. It is our little selves, so to speak, our emotional human selves, the little boy or girl that still resides and lives inside of us, that so greatly need and deserve our attention and great love. We love our inner little selves by allowing them to be and express who they are. And we listen, and validate them, and respond. And the truth that I see is that we will each go through the same old, same old things, stories, feelings and initiations, that  humanity has been travelling through for so many centuries and all time.


The more we feel, the more we heal. And then, the feeling becomes easy, and momentary, and all things just pass through. Then we have the room, the space, to expand into wider and broader spaces of experiential awareness. And this too, the whole of the process, usually happens slowly, over time, because it is so very very... huge. The shift. That comes through healing.


But between us and full enlightenment lives emotional recovery. We must learn to recover ourselves. And learning to embrace and express what we feel, is the missing link that many try to by-pass, or stuff, or avoid, or fun from. And they will never get 'there' because they are not knowing that they need to feel it in order to be free of it. Off the fear of it. And re freeing the mind, we cannot free the mind either unless we clean out the emotions, which originate and relate to the mind as well. So. To heal the emotional brain, the emotional body needs our loving compassion and attention too.


Too many spiritual paths today confuse their fellow travellers. They mean well when they say, "just focus on the good, and your divinity, and you will be fine". But this is not true. You must also and first, foremost, always, embrace your human side as well. It is our humanity. It is through embracing our humanity that consciousness is truly built. Try it out for yourself. You will see. You will see! You will set your "self" free. And, yes, you will free your mind.

When we embrace our true human self, we meet and discover our true divine self. It's a paradox. Or maybe magic. It's certainly alchemal.

A reminder for some. I may be on a soap box but I feel this so passionately and had to ramble this out for some reason today.


so ... for those doing the work, big hugs and lots and lots of L O V E .


xx

Alexa

ps. we are both human and divine. the middle road is where we discover our truth and ultimately reach enlightenment. we must not only reach for the stars, we must also reach down into our soil. once you recover yourself, you will be free to travel unemcumberedly anywhere in the Universe you'd like to "Be."

Be you! be true to yourself. Be Free. ♥

For the Love of a Dolphin

Ever go to a dolphin show? Think about what it's like from their perspective. The too-small cement enclosures echo their incredible sonar back to them at unbearable levels. and they are unable to swim the hundreds of miles they are by nature meant to swim each day.

Many knock their heads up side the enclosures in response to the trauma they face living in these conditions. And these highly intellegent beings are forced to "perform for food". It is no wonder an occasional whale will kill it's "master". It is only because they are so docile, they only kill for food in the wild, that they do not kill their slave masters more frequently.

I am sure many of these "dolphin and whale circus trainers" feel love for their trainees. But this is not love. Love is granting and supporting their freedom and protection. And I am sure when they realize this they will feel very badly. but this can be prevented with sharing more awareness of their plight. It's a tough situation. But one that may be healed with awareness. They also do some great rehabilitation at these places. So that can be the continued effort and purpose for those who work in this arena. And it is currently an arena for theater of the unconscious. Dolphins and whales deserve to live free.

8.14.2012

For the Love of a Dolphin ...

A Dolphin Connection, by Alexa Major Zipf

I have swum w/wild ocean dolphins four times. The first was in '95 when I had an intimate one-on-one conversation and sonar session with a large atlantic bottlenose. I called to him and he swam from some distance to meet me. I was diving as deeply as I could, and he surprised me by coming and "standing up" full-length in front of me underwater.

We were face to face, heart to heart, feet to fluke. Then I put my hands over my heart and sent love energy to him. "I love you! We love you!" I said (telepathically) as I sent energy from my heart to him with my hands. He smiled and chattered away with me out loud and gently sonared me too. Then he invited me for a dolphin swim! Oh, that I could have kept up with him. It was so natural for me. It felt easier to connect with him than with people at the time. It touched my soul in such a natural and indelible way. I still carry that connection with me now.

Shortly after that I traveled to do some underwater video with them, just for fun. It was a group of super playful spotted dolphins off of the bahamas. Such hams! They love human gadgets and toys, like cameras and underwater motor-scooters. The general rule is to swim with arms behind your back and not to touch them out of respect. I don't like to see them in captivity.

filming & playing with wild dolphin friends and the Dream Too team, Atlantic Ocean, '96



I saw my first whale breaching in Coasta Rica in 2001. It was the first of the two most peaceful experiences I have had in life so far. A huge pacific grey whale mother and her baby. They moved so slowly, so incredibly peacefully, alongside our boat, and with such grace. She also did a slowwwww and magestic tale flip. I cannot describe the depth of Peace she carried. A true meditation in peace and Presence. In their great presence we truly come into the power of Now. We were also among tons of dolphins on that trip. It was the first time I saw the flamboyant Spinner Dolphins. I don't know if that's the right word, but they are high energy. They are thin and shoot into the air, spinning 'round and 'round and 'round.

The fourth was on my honeymoon in Mexico. There were little canoes on the beach, and my hubby said - C'mon! There was a red tide at the time, and I said I wasn't sure I wanted to go. But Eric said (not knowing what was coming, but somehow intuitively), "Yes, come. You're gonna like this."

He rowed us away from shore and towards the horizon. And then, unexpectedly, we began to see fins.  Eric whispered, "dolphins!" He had rowed us right into a pod of quiet pacific bottlenoses. They were feeding and focused on some fish below. So not paying us any attention. I wanted to share with my beloved the experience of swimming with them. So I gently slipped from the row boat into the ocean. But the pacific ocean was so dark and murky at that time. And I couldn't discern who or what was underneathe me. I didn't feel safe. So I climbed quietly back onto the boat. And as the dolphins were feeding too, we didn't want to disrespect them. So we chose to gently float among them in their presence. And watched them grace the surface. It was magic. And a gift that Eric brought me as we started our journey together as husband and wife. Thanks, honey.

Connecting to Tribe and Expanding the Dream (again, and again)

I just joined up with the Miguel Ruiz Academy of Awareness and watched my first video as I began to take a look around. Oh, God, I love this man. How deeply I see and feel him. It is as if he is looking directly into my (our) eyes through the video. And I am transported again back to the first time I sat before him in 1995 in Santa Fe, NM. I was immediately in love. and at home. After meeting him in dreamtime that very night, my life was forever changed. Having spent several events with him over the years and continuing to frolick with several of his other lineage apprentices, it was seeing him the first time as it is again and still today - I feel his heart. His love. His mastery. And I am so honored to be reconnecting in this way today. What a gift to be able to spend some time with him and his family again in this new way at this point in my life. I have come a long way on my personal journey since our first and consecutive meetings. He and his energy guided me through 15 years of study and focus. And my life has been transformed. I continue on now feeling humbled and joyful to be in the presense of this Master and Lover/Teacher in this new way today.


Here's to moving ever forward. I am filled with such full Love.


www.miguelruiz.com

Happy Spring Update 2012

Springtime is everywhere, blossoms are blooming, new energy is being activated and it is time for old stories and patterns to transform and en-lighten. Recent solar flares and cosmic consciousness is pushing many of the things that have caused us to feel stuck in our lives to leave our fields creating clear fertile ground for the new. It is 2012 and a time for a global shift from the wounded to the healed. For many of us, it has been quite the ride!

Despite the call and influx of the new Spring energy, many people have been feeling more tired than usual and there is an increased need to rest, receive, rejuviante and renew. Noticing and becoming more fully aware of the things that help us feel nurtured and re-fueled is highly recommended. Enjoy some gentle cleansing, walking meditation amid the gorgeous blossoms and anything that brings you joy at this time of opening to the new. It is coming in! I even gave myself the gift of a wonder-ful shopping spree and bought myself 2 new goddess dresses... something I have not done in Years!

We are globally in a grand period of rapid transformation energies, which are paradoxically also quite gentle and soothing if you tune in. This is a loving year as we are being held and led from the old world cycle of 2012 into the new that begins with the dawning of 2013 later this year. This is a true gateway to the new world and dream, both individually and collectively. And what is yet to be created depends on all of us.

It is also a time for celebration. For those of us who have been working our paths, our new dreams are starting to take root! If things feel exhausting and bumpy in some key areas, that's ok, it's all a part of the switch and letting go of that which no longer serves. Despite our need for greater periods of rest and focus and being gentle with ourselves at this momentous time... take some time to Celebrate and Welcome in the New!

Awakened Journey is wishing you and all of our members the blessings of rejuvination, and the wish for celebration as the new Spring energy supports us. Come share, read our newest blogs and add some support to your journey!

And if you haven't already, join us on Facebook! This link should bring you there: www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000858884565&sk=info or look us up on FB at Awakened Journey. We'd love to see you there!


And remember: "Becoming aware is about being responsible for your own life. You are not responsible for what is happening in the world. You are responsible for yourself." - don Miguel Ruiz

Our own self-responsibility is what is changing our lives and the world.


Happy Spring and blessings on your journey!!


with love from Alexa and friends at
http://www.awakened-journey.com